What Do You Do When “I Can’t” Is Calling You? You Hang Up And Give “I CAN” A Call
Have you ever had a strong longing or desire to “throw caution to the wind” and just *do* something you’ve always wanted to do? It could be a desire to start your own business, ask your boss for a pay rise, go skydiving, to say hello to that person you really like…or just to get started at the gym.
Then suddenly, without any warning, you receive that terrible phone call. You know how it goes: “Hi, this is your unconscious calling. I just wanted to let you know, you “can’t” do that, its too dangerous / you can’t afford it / you don’t have the time / you’ll embarrass yourself / it’s too risky – or any other number of reasons you can think of.
You know that feeling, don’t you? The one where you really wanted to chase that goal or desire, and you didn’t do it! The opportunity passed you by and now you just wish you’d gone and done it.
My Biggest Regret – Don’t let this happen to you
This same thing happened to me a few years back. I’d just finished a four day arduous hike up to Machu Picchu, along the steep and winding Inca trail. The walk alone was a very spiritual experience. You could feel the ancient Incas talking to you from every hand-carved step. We arrived on a magnificent brisk morning – just in time to watch the sun rise over the ancient city. It was a very special moment.
As I sat marveling at this breathtaking vision – I felt on top of the world, like there was nothing in the world I couldn’t accomplish …or so I thought.
You see, there’s a lesser known part of Machu Picchu, known as “Wayna Picchu” …which is the steep and tall peak behind Machu Picchu that you can see in most photos. The climb to the top of Wayna Picchu is extremely steep, very narrow and there’s no guard rail. Basically…if you slip and fall it’s almost certain death! None the less, I desperately wanted to climb that peak, but I received the “You can’t do that, it’s too dangerous” call. So I didn’t do it.
Even though I had great balance, the best walking boots available and I was fit enough – I still didn’t do it.
To this day, I regret that choice…
Our Thoughts Dictate Our Actions
It’s self-evident: how we feel about ourselves and what we think of our own abilities and skills, in many ways determines what we do and what we don’t do! And in some cases that can leave us with regrets and missed opportunities.
The ironic side of this is, we all have enormous potential and it’s just our belief – or rather our “lack” of belief in ourselves (that’s programmed into our unconscious) that holds us back in life.
Telling Your Subconscious To Shut Up
So … what can you do when “I Can’t” calls *your* name?
Changing your entire mindset with one question
Well the answer is not all that complicated, and, I first stumbled upon it by observing my eldest son, Josh
Some years ago I was teaching him how to kick a football (not a soccer ball, a football!). After about four or five attempts he was convinced he couldn’t do it. I asked him if he remembered when he first started learning to ride a pushbike, and just how convinced he was he couldn’t do it. Then I reminded him of how well he can ride a bike now.
Some years ago I was teaching him how to kick a football (not a soccer ball, a football!). After about four or five attempts he was convinced he couldn’t do it. I asked him if he remembered when he first started learning to ride a pushbike, and just how convinced he was he couldn’t do it. Then I reminded him of how well he can ride a bike now.
So I asked him, “How did you learn to ride the pushbike?”
He replied with, “I really wanted to learn how to ride, and I just kept trying ‘till I got it!”.
Well then, I said, “do you really want to learn how to kick a football?” That simple question changed his entire mindset.
Well then, I said, “do you really want to learn how to kick a football?” That simple question changed his entire mindset.
Can you kick a football?
Picture this – a few years later I took him Heli-Skiing in New Zealand. He was 12 by then and was pretty excited, both about the helicopter ride and skiing some awesome untracked powder snow. The helicopter dropped us at the top of the mountain, and on the cue of an almighty shout – the guide took off down the mountain!
Josh followed, took 2 turns and fell over. He’d never skied “powder” before. He got up, took another 3 turns and fell over again. And then one turn and fell over again. This time he didn’t get up.
Our guide was almost out of sight and that’s when Josh exclaimed in a very loud voice, “I can’t do this dad! We’re going to be stuck on this mountain forever!” I said, do you remember when you were convinced you couldn’t kick a football? How well can you kick one now?
How about when you were convinced that you couldn’t ride a bike? Do you remember how you learnt to do that?
He groaned, got up, skied three turns and fell over again. But this time he got up and he kept skiing and falling all the way to the bottom. By the third run, he was skiing better than me and easily keeping up with everyone else…
You Have Done So Many Amazing Things – Why Stop Now?
Each and everyone one of us has already done so many amazing things – like learning to ride a bike, learning to drive a car, learning to walk, leaving home and living on our own for the first time, learning how to talk to the opposite sex without making a fool of yourself (some of us are still learning to do that ☺). If you were to go back to any one of those times now, I’m surethere were a few “I can’t” moments in there, but you did it anyway.
We’ve just forgotten how to hang up on that “I can’t” call.
To get that skill back, we need to change the beliefs that we have about ourselves. We need to create new neural pathways, and destroy old limiting ones.
A good place to start is to remind yourself of all the times in the past when you received the “I can’t” call – and then just went out and did it anyway.
I like to think of it as the time when you hung up on “I can’t” and gave “I can” a call. I’m sure you can picture yourself doing this…can you not?
Then, start with small stuff – those little things that are just outside of your comfort zone. The reason this is so important is because, each time you challenge yourself, no matter how small it might seem, you create a new neural pathway, a new belief that “you can do it” and you rebuild your confidence and belief in yourself. Over time, your comfort zone will be expanding and you’ll be surprising yourself, everyday.
How To Expand Your Comfort Zone – Talking to your subconscious
If you wanted to speed up the process, you can also take advantage of some of the latest tools and developments in mind sciences and unconscious re-programming…and start rapidly turning your dreams into realities and results.
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