By Carmen Honacker
For most of us, it’s difficult to lose people we care about due to fights or fall-outs. Even when people just get weeded out during natural progression, it isn’t easy on us. Thus, a good portion of us actively hold on to people that no longer serve our higher purpose, but who actually hinder our progress. The worst thing for most human beings is rejection and/or loneliness, which translates into some of us jumping through hoops, tip-toeing around certain individuals, or simply denying our very own nature. And when we do these things, sooner or later we start feeling resentful.
Not all relationships and friendships should be salvaged, because not all of them are equally important. But no matter what happened, I would always ask anyone to still accept their part in any type of “bad” parting. If you behaved in ways that were hurtful, mean or out of line, you must own up to it and apologize. Why? Because this is what grown up and healthy people do! We own our part in things and we behave with integrity, honesty and decency! Just be prepared that most people do not like confrontation and therefore prefer the passive aggressive or behind-the-back approach. This is fine, too, as long as you can at least look at yourself in the mirror, knowing that you did the right thing.
I know that it hurts to let go, but know that holding on can sometimes be more detrimental and painful than cutting the cord and walking away. So here are three things to consider when finally saying “good riddance!”
1. Values
Know what they are and stick to them! If you attempt to foster relationships with people who do not have the same values, things will go sour eventually. The good old saying “opposites attract” does not apply here at all. For example, if you value loyalty and the other one doesn’t/won’t, things will go really sour when they keep letting you down and disrespecting you.
2. Love, Empathy and Kindness
I know it should be a no-brainer, but why hang on to people who are unkind and can’t be loving towards you? We are all imperfect; we have our struggles, ups and downs and our strengths and weaknesses. Who needs people who are too self-absorbed to love anyone else and have no ability to relate to another? In order to be kind, one has to have empathy, and in order to love, one has to have the ability to relate to another and share with them. Insight into others also allows you to see how another wants to be loved! Not all of us recognize love in the same ways. While some require a lot of reassurance, others may need someone who helps them with the daily chores.
3. Self-Awareness
Someone who is absolutely clueless regarding who they are and how they come across or affect others will have absolutely no clue how to treat another; or how to be a friend, partner or lover. When someone is stuck deeply in denial about their own life, how “tuned in” do you think they will be with you? If they are not open to any criticism, how do you think they will help you grow? You’ve guessed it, by not saying a thing and looking the other way. Worst case scenario, they will say something, but not to your face. Either way, this is not a growth inspiring situation. To love and care for anther includes the ability to be open and honest with each other!
My advice is not for the faint of heart, nor for those who want to lead a miserable, or mediocre life. My advice is for those who want extraordinary lives; for those who want to be wide awake and live life to the fullest; for those who want to learn to thrive versus merely cope. There is so much to be gained when we live our lives courageously, and when we won’t take “no” for an answer. The shift that spreads across all parts of our existence can only occur when we are the catalyst. All change starts within, not without!
So if you find yourself hurt, angry, disappointed or upset over losing someone who isn’t worth the emotions or tears you invested, just know that there is no empty space in the universe; and generally, when one door closes, another one opens. Life goes on and when we change our own vibrations, we will attract those who are more in-tune with us and probably more worth-while. For those who closed the door on you, just tell yourself “good riddance!” and move on. This is the only life you have, make the best of it
Change Your Vibrations, Change Your Life
We all have something we need to let go or get over in our lives. To celebrate and honor this, March 9 is Get Over It Day! Check out the fun printable declaration of intent form. You can use it or share with friends and family if you feel they need to “get over it.”For most of us, it’s difficult to lose people we care about due to fights or fall-outs. Even when people just get weeded out during natural progression, it isn’t easy on us. Thus, a good portion of us actively hold on to people that no longer serve our higher purpose, but who actually hinder our progress. The worst thing for most human beings is rejection and/or loneliness, which translates into some of us jumping through hoops, tip-toeing around certain individuals, or simply denying our very own nature. And when we do these things, sooner or later we start feeling resentful.
Not all relationships and friendships should be salvaged, because not all of them are equally important. But no matter what happened, I would always ask anyone to still accept their part in any type of “bad” parting. If you behaved in ways that were hurtful, mean or out of line, you must own up to it and apologize. Why? Because this is what grown up and healthy people do! We own our part in things and we behave with integrity, honesty and decency! Just be prepared that most people do not like confrontation and therefore prefer the passive aggressive or behind-the-back approach. This is fine, too, as long as you can at least look at yourself in the mirror, knowing that you did the right thing.
I know that it hurts to let go, but know that holding on can sometimes be more detrimental and painful than cutting the cord and walking away. So here are three things to consider when finally saying “good riddance!”
1. Values
Know what they are and stick to them! If you attempt to foster relationships with people who do not have the same values, things will go sour eventually. The good old saying “opposites attract” does not apply here at all. For example, if you value loyalty and the other one doesn’t/won’t, things will go really sour when they keep letting you down and disrespecting you.
2. Love, Empathy and Kindness
I know it should be a no-brainer, but why hang on to people who are unkind and can’t be loving towards you? We are all imperfect; we have our struggles, ups and downs and our strengths and weaknesses. Who needs people who are too self-absorbed to love anyone else and have no ability to relate to another? In order to be kind, one has to have empathy, and in order to love, one has to have the ability to relate to another and share with them. Insight into others also allows you to see how another wants to be loved! Not all of us recognize love in the same ways. While some require a lot of reassurance, others may need someone who helps them with the daily chores.
3. Self-Awareness
Someone who is absolutely clueless regarding who they are and how they come across or affect others will have absolutely no clue how to treat another; or how to be a friend, partner or lover. When someone is stuck deeply in denial about their own life, how “tuned in” do you think they will be with you? If they are not open to any criticism, how do you think they will help you grow? You’ve guessed it, by not saying a thing and looking the other way. Worst case scenario, they will say something, but not to your face. Either way, this is not a growth inspiring situation. To love and care for anther includes the ability to be open and honest with each other!
My advice is not for the faint of heart, nor for those who want to lead a miserable, or mediocre life. My advice is for those who want extraordinary lives; for those who want to be wide awake and live life to the fullest; for those who want to learn to thrive versus merely cope. There is so much to be gained when we live our lives courageously, and when we won’t take “no” for an answer. The shift that spreads across all parts of our existence can only occur when we are the catalyst. All change starts within, not without!
So if you find yourself hurt, angry, disappointed or upset over losing someone who isn’t worth the emotions or tears you invested, just know that there is no empty space in the universe; and generally, when one door closes, another one opens. Life goes on and when we change our own vibrations, we will attract those who are more in-tune with us and probably more worth-while. For those who closed the door on you, just tell yourself “good riddance!” and move on. This is the only life you have, make the best of it
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