How to Have a Better Mid-Life Crisis

By Dan Prescher 

A mid-life crisis -- if you fully embrace the stereotype -- can be expensive. Fancy car... trophy wife... new body... new career. But -- as with so many things -- your buck buys you more when you take your mid-life crisis to a tropical paradise and teach it to dance the salsa. Consider these alternatives...
Why buy a new red sports car when you could... take that $80,000 and buy a condo on the beach in Panama, Brazil, or Mexico? You can get more of your friends into a condo, and the ocean view is better through a picture window than a windshield. (You'll save on insurance, too.)
Why get liposuction when you could... spend that $8,000 on a month in Buenos Aires taking tango lessons? Just by going to Buenos Aires, you'll set yourself up to lose weight -- with the excellent beef, amazing wine, and streets that are made for walking. Plus, the tango is the natural enemy of fat, laziness, and low libido. As the Argentines have known for years, you cannot dance the tango without feeling younger and sexier, which is why they generally seem so young and sexy. That's something simple liposuction can't do for you.
Why dye your hair and buy a new wardrobe of designer hip-hop gear that will make your friends laugh at you behind your back when you could... use that $1,000 in the markets of Ecuador to buy the pair of leather pants you've always wanted... and use the leftover $920 to spend a month living in the Andes, going to spas and wearing your hair however you want. At the price you paid, you wouldn't even have to wear the leather pants. And while you enjoy world-class mountain views, you can laugh at your friends back home.
Why spend $10,000 on a nose job and a chin lift and then hide in the house until the swelling goes down when you could... get the same work done in Costa Rica for half the price, complete with pampered recuperation at an all-inclusive hotel on the beach. Then, with the $5,000 you still have in your pocket, reserve a lot on the hill overlooking that beach and start planning your dream villa. Living and traveling internationally comes wrapped in excitement, challenge, and adventure -- what better antidote to the trials and tribulations of a mid-life crisis?