Open Your Heart and Allow the Good things to Filter in...

BY The Barefoot Doctor
When you communicate with someone, whether having a conversation for the sake of it or to get to know each other better, asking salient questions always works wonders so don’t be too shy or self-absorbed to ask about what you want to know.
But with the purpose of achieving some sort of consensus that could lead to a mutually desirable result (when you’re negotiating, in other words), the result you achieve is determined directly by how much you’re willing to remove limits in your mind about what can happen between you both – the breadth of the parameters you’re willing to give life/the Tao within which to operate. The wider the parameters you set, the bigger the possibilities achievable in negotiation.
Choose the highest possible good as an outcome
So if you begin by intending that whatever the outcome is, it will be something that’s for the highest good of all concerned, even if that doesn’t look anything like what you’d have initially thought should be the result, you’ll invariably be delighted with the outcome.
Steps to instigating a viable dialogue
The steps instigating such a conversation are to:
1. Centre yourself, relax your body, breathe slowly, sink your weight, arrive on the planet, make yourself aware of the presence (the Tao) informing and expressing itself through you and the other.
2. Clarify the intention, which is to elicit a result that will be optimally mutually beneficial, even though you don’t know how or in what form that might eventually materialize.
3. Empty your forebrain of egocentric agenda, to give space for the Tao of the situation to operate freely.
4. Open your heart and allow your love, your innate natural goodness to radiate freely, from the midst of your chest in a parabolic arc to encompass the other and simultaneously enable you to be encompassed by theirs (if even just in its latent form).
5. Arrange your body posture to face them squarely as much as possible (do this mentally if talking remotely on the phone for instance) and allow whatever communication arises from deep in your pelvic floor to surface and pass through your lips as a string of words.
Of all these steps the most important is to open your heart to embrace the other with love.
Empty yourself to receive the other
Having instigated the dialogue, the next step is to sink your consciousness back into the midbrain, let go of your own agenda again, and make space in your heart for the other to respond.
Naturally it’s impossible to exemplify this sufficiently to cover all possible types of negotiation or outcome, but using the above template is a start to achieving a wholly different set of outcomes in future negotiations of any sort.
The most important communicational step of all is to open your heart to embrace the other with love.

Below are 10 timeless tips for getting happier right now!

These likely won’t come as shock revelations, and are more ever-friendly reminders – ones I personally never tire of! I trust they will serve you too.
1. Gratitude
Gratitude opens your heart and directs your energy to that which you love and what brings you joy, and in so magically attracts more of the same. What you appreciate, appreciates! Feeling grateful both gives (in its appreciation) and receives (through the opening created in that giving).
The more you value and feel grateful for ANYTHING, the more there will be to feel grateful for per se. Furthermore, when you feel grateful you experience all the beautiful qualities you feel grateful for all over again!
Gratitude is the sweet song of appreciation and turns any experience into a gift that is received.”
2. Suspend Judgment
Judging others, or yourself, lowers your energy and separates you from love and joy. Having an opinion isn’t the same as judging and doesn’t hold the harsh energy that judgment does. Even with forming or holding an opinion, be sure you know the truth of any person or situation.
Be mindful what you decide about someone you don’t know, for it will invariably reveal less of them and more of you.”
What you judge in another may be something you secretly judge in yourself that you have not yet owned and are projecting outwards. Use judgment as a means to become more conscious of yourself, you inner buttons, beliefs and repressed aspects.
If you’re pointing a finger, be sure to look in the mirror first.”
The more you love and accept yourself, the less you will judge others or be affected by the judgments of others. This doesn’t mean tolerating a situation or behaviour that you feel doesn’t honour you, more it frees you to walk your own path and leave others to theirs.
When you judge you project your shadows onto others, when you love you project your light.”
3. Trust
Trust takes you towards positive desired outcomes in a magical, effortless way. Trust yourself and your power as a creator. Trust the universe and the love, gifts, guidance and blessings it has for you. Trust the doors that are opening and the ones that are closing. Relinquish control and allow yourself to be carried along the river of trust, the universal flow that will take you to bright realities aligned to your soul’s purpose with grace and ease.
4. Honour Your Emotions
Honour your emotions and listen to what they are telling you about what’s going on inside. If they are negative or uncomfortable, what thoughts or beliefs are they pointing to that may need changing or aligning?
Express and release your feelings rather than deny, repress, control or judge them. This doesn’t mean wallowing in them or giving them undue attention if they do not serve you (i.e. nip that self-pity in the bud), nor does it mean venting them at another inappropriately (writing a letter and burning it might be far ‘cleaner’ as a means of processing before communication in some instances, for example). Honour your emotions by accepting them and allowing them to be experienced and released, be that by feeling them, writing them down, sharing them with a friend, or expressing them through creativity, for example.
5. Meditate
Meditation has so many benefits, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically, as science is now recognising and documenting. Meditation brings calm and balanced perspectives and dissipates negative states and denser energy, washing away stress and lower vibrations as you centre and realign.
Meditation creates a gateway through which divine inspiration and higher guidance can be accessed and received, as you still your conscious mind and open channels to spiritual realms and your Higher Self, enhancing intuitive senses.
Your energy field can clear, renew and recharge, and lower energies dissolve as you come to centre, connect to the light within, and ‘plug-in’ to higher realms through dedicating the time and space to honour the sacred – the sacred in you, and the sacred of the all-and-One, or whatever name you hold for the heart of creation.
6. Take Responsibility
Responsibility brings freedom and empowerment. The more you take responsibility for your life, the better able you are to change it. You create or allow your experience at some level, whether you are aware of that, or the roots and whys.
Become aware of the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes and choices that are creating your reality. Take responsibility for them and choose those that serve you and your world. Get exciting about the future, own your power and get manifesting! Shift gears from fear and problems to solutions and desired outcomes, from blame to gain, wounded to winner, falling to soaring.
One of the fastest ways to change your life is to start realising that you are its author and get writing a new script!”
7. Know You Are Loved
You are loved totally and unconditionally by the source of creation. If you do not hold spiritual beliefs, think of it as though there is a part of you that loves you completely, beyond need of a reason. There is nothing you need do to win that love, and nothing you can do to lose it. Open to this truth and allow it in, and the love that wants to be given to you in every moment. You are loved more than you will ever know, in ways beyond that which you may be able to currently conceive, understand or make sense of from your human perspective.
Opening to this love that is always there for you will help you experience more of your true value, worth and inherent deserving, and heal pain of separation and loneliness. Start by allowing in the possibility that you are totally and unconditionally loved right now, just as you are.
You are loved beyond reasons, you are loved beyond seasons, unconditionally, eternally, you are loved. “
8. Forgive Yourself and Others
Forgiveness of self and others is the ultimate mind-body-soul detox. It liberates you from toxic emotions and sets you free from the draining attachments and darker emotions non-forgiveness holds you captive to. Self-forgiveness dispels guilt, shame and undeserving that can otherwise block happiness and success. It is an immensely powerful force for healing and transformation and a most gracious gift you can give yourself.
9. Have Fun!
Fun will attract success into your life like iron filings to a magnet. In fact, fun is so much of what True Success is all about, and what your heart seeks.
If you have fun on the way to achieving your goals, you will have achieved one of life’s greatest goals.”
Fun is the antidote to stress, struggle, tediousness and seriousness. When you are having fun you are open and sharing of who you are and ride on the current of spontaneity and joy. What brings you fun, happiness and joy? Commit to more of it in all areas of your life!
Be sure to play, to make your day, sparkle with joy, so your heart says yay!”
10. Love, Love, Love!
Love yourself and others. There may be times this is easier than others, yet make it your overriding intention. There may be some people you choose to love from a distance, yet that love is still a healing energy nonetheless.
The beauty with love is, whether near or far, you can love from wherever you are.”
Love lies at the heart of all that you seek, and separation from it lies at the root of your troubles and pain. Let love be a guiding light in your life that will steer your ship through stormy waters back to the shore of happiness and joy. We all love to love and be loved! It doesn’t get better than that! It is the highest vibration there is. The more you love yourself and others, the happier, brighter and more successful your life will become.

A New Order of Self-Understanding

All of us know what it's like to be dogged by parts of us that want to drag us down. Call it what you will: some compulsion or obsession seems to follow us into all our relationships, only to wreck them in one way or another. We struggle as best we can to free ourselves from these dark states but invariably find ourselves short of the mark. Slowly but surely, one thing becomes clear: we start to see that calling upon who and what we have been to save us from our suffering is like asking a windstorm to neatly pile our autumn leaves. So, without giving up, we begin to open our eyes to the truth of our condition and, somewhere in the midst of our misery, we suddenly see our lives in a new kind of light. In this new awareness, a whole new order of self-understanding dawns; and, as it does, our old dark sense of self departs, taking its suffering along with it. In these healing moments, where we seem to awaken from a bad dream, there comes a new understanding of something we've always known but had somehow forgotten! Revelations like these can mean only one thing: all that we need to know to grow beyond who we currently are is already a part of our true nature.
The Masters Speak...
All of us who are human beings are in the image of God. But to be in his likeness belongs only to those who by great love have attached their freedom to God. —Diadochus of Photike (5th c., Greece)
So, in regard to disagreeable and formidable things, prudence does not consist in evasion or flight, but in courage. He who wishes to walk in the most peaceful parts of life with any serenity must screw himself up to resolution. Let him front the object of his worst apprehension, and his stoutness will commonly make his fear groundless. —Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882, United States)
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that

Just a Little Smile

by John W. Schlatter

Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder. Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the boy's name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, and that he was having lots of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend.
They arrived at Bill's home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts over the years. Finally the long awaited senior year came and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.
Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. "Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?" asked Bill. "You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn't want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mother's sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark, when you picked up those books that day, you did a lot more. You saved my life."

Wall-Sign Wisdom

By Robert Ringer
I recently ran across three heirloom, handwritten signs that I had pinned on my wall in my early days as a writer. The signs were positioned so that whenever I looked up from my Selectric typewriter, they were staring me in the face. Had it not been for my internalizing the words on these three signs, I doubt I would have become a successful author.
The reason I want to share these signs with you today is because I believe the rules they convey apply pretty much to any profession.
Sign No. 1: Force yourself to write; once you get going, don't stop to congratulate yourself.
Most wannabe writers make both of these mistakes. They wait to become motivated before they begin writing, which is why they remain wannabes. After more than two decades of experience, trust me: You will rarely be motivated to write.
What separates most writers from non-writers is that true writers take action and start putting words on the computer regardlessof whether or not they are motivated. In my experience, after I force myself to start writing, I find that a seamless transition takes place and I become motivated.
There is no mystery to this. What happens is that once you begin writing, it stimulates your brain and body cells and gets your creative juices flowing. Which in turn revs up your motivation. I learned this through experience while writing my first book. I felt it was such an important point that I made up a sign, tacked it on my wall, and read it every morning before I had a chance to start piddling around with procrastination projects. Writing is not about the future; writing is about putting your hands on the keyboard now.
As to the second part of the sign – once you get going, don't stop to congratulate yourself – I added these words because I found I had a tendency to stop and admire my work every time I got on a roll. While it may have appeared to be self-adulation, the truth of the matter is that I just possessed an ingenious knack for coming up with excuses for procrastinating.
I finally faced up to the reality that I had mastered the art of procrastination. But it wasn't until years later that it occurred to me that the words on this sign applied not only to writing but to just about any other profession. For example, if you're in sales – which, to one extent or another, just about everyone is – you have to force yourself to make contact with potential buyers.
Every salesperson knows that the most important determinant when it comes to achieving consistent results is his willingness to apply action and rely on a powerful universal principle known as the law of averages. If you want results, the law of averages literally guarantees to deliver them to you, provided you supply the action.
Likewise, salespeople have to avoid falling into the trap of congratulating themselves after every sale. One of the reasons I achieved mega-success as a real estate broker years before I became a writer is that as soon as I got a check in my hand, no matter how big it was, I was off to work on the next deal.
Regardless of the business you're in, don't coddle yourself. Celebrating deal closings is for amateurs. If you want to celebrate, do it by quickly moving on to the next deal.
Sign No. 2: Simplicity is crucial. Can the reader quickly and clearly understand what you are trying to say? Eliminate verbal furniture.
I learned this little gem from William Strunk's timeless classicThe Elements of Style. Even though the book is very old, everything Strunk said in it still holds true today, especially the little jewel that follows:
"Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell."
Simplicity is a crucial aspect of quality writing. I constantly remind would-be writers that the power of the understatement is enormous.
I'm always amazed at how many extraneous words and sentences I find in draft after draft of everything I write. I'm even more amazed by how many extraneous words and sentences people leave in their finished works – from books to e-mails. Day in and day out, I read words and sentences that detract from the main point that the writer appears to be attempting to make.
Each of the three sentences on Sign No. 2 applies to your business, whatever it may be. For example, when you present a deal to someone, simplicity is crucial. Don't clutter up your presentation with verbal furniture. If you add unnecessary words or sentences, all you accomplish is to make it more difficult for the prospect to understand your main point or points.
That, in turn, makes it more difficult for him to make a decision. When making a presentation, remember that you're not there to give a speech or impress the other person with your knowledge. Your sole focus should be on closing the deal.
This is especially true if you're trying to raise money: (1) Tell the person exactly what you want from him; (2) tell him precisely what you intend to do with the money; then, (3) tell him what's in it for him if things work out precisely as you have projected. Everything else is fluff.
Sign No. 3: Don't try to be all things to all people. Go after a specific market, and don't make apologies to those who aren't part of that market.
Authors are just like anyone else – they want to be loved. Or at least admired and respected. But this is a human need that can be fatal to a writer. If you try to please everyone – or, the corollary, try not to offend anyone – you become a "mushy" writer. Bymushy, I mean someone whose message is not clear-cut.
If you're an author, you don't want to sell ten thousand books to sleepwalking people who see you as a politically correct boy scout who preaches conventional wisdom. The idea is to sell one million books to a market of people who see you as differentfrom other writers in your genre who are all preaching the same thing.
However, when you're different from others in the pack, realize that there will be a lot of people who will not like what you have to say, and some who will even hate it for it. Which is okay. It's a big marketplace out there.
Regardless of the business you're in, if you try to be all things to all people, you're likely to end up without an enthusiastic, loyal group of customers. Go after a specific market, and don't make apologies to those who don't like your product or service.
People who have no interest in what you're selling haven't committed a crime. They've just voted with their pocketbooks. No big deal. They just aren't part of your market.
Instead of letting it bother you, take your desire to please everyone and convert it into energy aimed at improving the product or service you sell to your market. The people who like what you produce are the ones who deserve your time and attention. A relatively small but loyal following can secure, at a minimum, a very nice lifestyle for you and your family.
Please be my guest and customize these three signs to fit your own unique situation. Then, hang them on your wall where you can review them daily. I guarantee that they'll make a difference in your results.

Role Modeling For Success

By Ryan Murdock
Do you struggle with Goal Setting?
I'm not surprised.
"Goal setting" has either been beaten into unbearable dullness by the anal retentive authors of certain business books, or it's been co-opted by unicorn-riding New Age "thinkers" who tell you all you've gotta do is imagine really hard and that Lotus Esprit will show up in your driveway. So you're either doomed to drooling boredom or confined to strait jackets and padded rooms.
It doesn't have to be that way. Goal setting is simple, and it forms a key pillar of the Shapeshifter Lifestyle strategies I share with my fitness clients.
So you've got your big dream. You know what you want. But how do you break it down into concrete, achievable steps? That's exactly what one of my readers wanted to know...
Dale asked me: "I know what I want to achieve, but trying to set all the little goals to get to that point kills me. If your goal is something you have never achieved, how do you realistically know the steps to get there?"
It's an excellent question, and an honest one. Your goal is pretty much always something you've never achieved. Otherwise why would you bother? But how the heck do you orient your compass when you don't have a map?
It's actually pretty easy. You just map the process of another person who has achieved the same or a similar goal.
Find a "role model" who has the sort of lifestyle you're trying to create. What did he or she go through to get there? What specific things worked, and which "dead ends" should you avoid? What skills or traits does this person embody?
Compare these details to where you are right now. Then figure out what's missing from YOUR equation – and how you're going to get it.
I'll share a personal story that illustrates exactly what I mean.
When I'm not helping average folks redesign beautiful bodies with the Shapeshifter fitness program, I'm also a professional travel writer. How did I learn to write well enough that magazines would want to send me on expeditions at their expense? I didn't have a teacher, that's for sure! I did it by myself, sitting alone in a room. Writing isn't something you can be taught – but it IS something that can be learned.
When I was first starting to write, I devoured the work of a writer whose style and worldview I admired. His name was Lawrence Durrell. I read absolutely everything he published, right down to the most obscure collection in university libraries. Then I read his published letters. Then I read all the biographies that had been written about him. Finally, I read critical articles about his work to see if I agreed with the opinions formed by these authors, or if I'd missed any nuances.
By the time I was finished I knew so much about Lawrence Durrell's life, and I'd followed his creative process at such a deep level through his work, that I had a pretty clear sense of the skills he developed and how he got there. I also assessed myself – clearly and honestly – to see where my own writing fell short. And then I worked backwards from my vision to my current state to build the skills I needed, step by step.
Yeah, that sounds like a lot of work. But it wasn't enough...
I followed this same process with every writer whose work resonated with me on a deep level: Paul Theroux (who I consider the greatest living travel writer), Henry Miller, Jack Kerouac, Arthur Rimbaud, and Steve Kilbey.
I lived and breathed my craft. I read the classics. I read poetry to understand how to manipulate images in original ways. I read history and psychology to inform my work. I read old explorer's journals to honour those who came before me. And I'm still doing it a decade and a half later.
So yeah, that's it. That's how you do it.
Mapping is a sure fire way to discover the path to the dream you want to live rather than just wish for. All it takes is a little work.
So who do YOU admire? Who has the type of business you aspire to create? Who lives with the kind of energy and joie de vivre you'd like to experience? Who has surrounded themselves with the kind relationships and friendships you want in your life? And who embodies the career of your dreams?
Pick one person and start your own modeling process. This person can be someone close to you, someone famous, or even a fictional character. The important thing is to go deep and truly feel, know and understand what makes that person someone you admire. How do they act, think and feel? What would they do in a given situation?
Then start imagining, practicing and applying those actions and reactions to yourself

Be Happy at Any Age… By Living in the Moment

Remember the good old days when we would proudly state how old we were? “I’m Sweet 16!” or “I’m finally going to be 21!!” Now, we may share our birth month and day, but rarely the year—unless prodded to do so. I, for one, was not excited to be creeping up on 30 and still not be married or have children. As an only child, my parents sure weren’t pleased either… But then, an idea hit me one day: When I dwell on the future and what I don’t have now (yet want so badly), am I not pressuring myself to age faster? Why am I not enjoying the things I have in this moment of time, like a great career and a new home, instead of always keeping my focus on the next thing I want to achieve? If I hold on to this mindset, then I will eventually find myself married with children and then not enjoying those experiences because I’ll be looking forward to retirement and my kids going off to college! That would not be a life of happiness; that would be a life of impatience.
This profound realization, to live in the moment so I can enjoy my current age, came as a result of reading a famous quote from Abraham Lincoln that I found randomly on the Internet: “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” After reading this aphorism several times and letting it resonate, I thought back about each year of my life and noticed that age 28 (my current age) has been the best year ever because I have been living my life to the absolute fullest.Specifically, I started going to social gatherings whenever invited, I more aggressively worked toward meeting my personal and professional goals, and I am doing the things I have always wanted to do but never made time for, such as going to all the restaurants on my “Must-Eat-There” list. These fun, light activities brought me back to life, made the year memorable, and showed me that I can be happy at any age, but only if I make the things I enjoy happen! Happiness doesn’t just fall in one’s lap; happiness comes as a result of actively pursuing whatever makes you content. When you do this, you are not only more pleased on the inside, but also you exude joy on the outside, which makes you appear more youthful

Wanting it to Come Out Right Isn’t Always Enough

Sometimes good intentions have the exact opposite outcome, which makes no sense to us. After all, we really intended to do it this time. Hence, we go on a diet and end up gaining weight. And isn’t it the strangest thing that each time we are finally ready for therapy or that personal trainer we suddenly find ourselves unable to find one, or being able to afford one. This is definitely one of the best ways to show the power of one’s subconscious mind, and true intentions at its finest. This is why confidence shows, why positive people get what they want and why those who know what they want are able to manifest it.
There is a huge difference with really wanting to do something and setting your mind to it, versus saying that you “should” be doing something, because it might or even will be getting you to where you want to be. The words “should” register in the depth of your mind as “won’t,” and pretty much have the same effect. This is why those who should quit smoking don’t, the ones who should be losing weight keep gaining or staying where they are at, and those who really should be getting in therapy to have the life they so desire remain single.Wanting something and truly being willing to do whatever it takes to get it, are two completely different things. Any massive change in one’s habits requires the necessary mindset and no matter how great we might be in fooling others, our mind isn’t so easily fooled and knows exactly what our true intentions are. And, to top it off, most people will also, sooner or later, see who someone truly is, because in order to convince someone of being anything, one has to consistently be whatever one claims to be. So if you are highly insecure, no matter how secure you may try to appear on the outside, you’ll always end up revealing your insecure nature by how you end up acting most of the time; especially when you are under pressure.
So how does one turn intentions into actions? I guess, by asking yourself how bad you really want it. Some sit on their couch and wait for their life and happiness to unfold; while not moving a finger and not changing a thing. Well, good luck with that! Everything worth having and being requires three things; discipline, determination and persistence, or in other words, willpower.
I generally make lists. I write out the pros and cons of the thing I want and what my intent is for getting it. I then carry said list with me and read it at least once a day. I guess, one could say that not only am I putting my true intentions out there, but I keep reinforcing them until they are stuck and have successfully overwritten whatever faulty or stagnant belief I had before. I recognize that it takes time and I leave room to forgive myself if I don’t get it right immediately. But with persistence, determination and discipline I’ll end up getting it right sooner rather than later.
Don’t waste time on complaining about how hard things are, but take it one day at a time. Focusing on the entire road ahead makes things daunting and often we’ll end up setting ourselves up for failure. But if you take it one day at a time/use baby steps, you will end up succeeding.

Unlock the Light Power of Gems

Gemstones as healing tools have been used for centuries in Chinese medicine and Native American shamanism. More recently crystal healing has become popular in many alternative-healing practices. Practitioners have learned that light and color are in themselves, distinct ways of communicating. And gemstones certainly display qualities of both light and color.
Color therapy, a closely related cousin, shows that every single molecule in the universe operates on its own unique frequency. And this frequency is sent out, not unlike that of a radio wave. Each and every cell in the human body reacts keenly to the varying and changing vibrations of color. For we are, after all, beings of light.In essence, all the food and vitamins we take in are color incarnate. Most have heard that the easy way to eat properly is to make sure we have colorful plates. That’s true. So we can see nature has made it easy for us to restore health and healing to our bodies.
Light Gem Therapy uses this information, combined with modern day knowledge of the unique properties of various gemstones, to help restore the body to it’s more holistic state.
How does this work exactly? Certain gemstones are specifically chosen for the client’s particular imbalance. These gemstones along with their filters are placed inside a tiny chamber housed within a low voltage lamp. The gemstones are then electronically stimulated so that they may begin to resonate with low voltage electronic pulses. The voltage, frequency and timing are always adjusted according to each patient’s needs.
An interesting note: Light Gem Therapy uses the same principles commonly used in equipment such as ultra sound apparatus, surgical lasers, and ultrasonic scanners.
The frequency of energy depends on the particular color of the selected filter and the corresponding gemstone applied to the situation.
The client sits under these lamps and lets the soothing, non-invasive light rays do their gentle work. Light Gem Therapy has been reported to be quite relaxing and comforting.
This therapy can be used along with other disciplines such as reflexology, nutritional counseling or Theta Healing, to mention a few.
If you’re thinking of trying another type of alternative treatment, why not give it a try?

Turn Every Failure into Incredible Success

It happened again, didn’t it? Your great plan failed. You were sure it was going to work, but it didn’t. And you failed. Again. Let’s face it: you’re just a failure, right?
I don’t know if your last failure had to do with finance or romance, with school or work. Even if you’re successful in other areas of your life, when you fail it makes you feel like a failure in everything. How do I know this? Because I’ve been there. We’ve all been there.
Making matters worse is the “advice” you’ll usually get.
“Just stick with it and you’ll eventually succeed.”
“Don’t worry. Something else will come along.”
Hogwash!Sticking it out and doing the same thing repeatedly just leads to more failure. Wait for something else to come along and you’ll be old and decrepit by the time that something else comes along—if it ever does come along. However, there is a surefire way to turn any failure into a success in every area of your life. And it’s easier than you think!
STEP ONE: DARE TO THINK DIFFERENT
The first thing to overcome failure is to think different about failure. And the first key is understanding this simple truth: You only fail if you give up.
Look at a baby learning to walk. The child falls down repeatedly. But the baby gets up with an adult’s help and eventually with the help of objects such as tables and chairs. If the baby simply repeated what it was doing, it might take years to learn to walk or maybe the baby would never walk at all.
But that baby is not simply sticking with the same thing that resulted in falling. The infant is getting guidance and support from outside sources. The second key, therefore, is this: Get an objective opinion.
Maybe you can do this yourself. If you can get a bit of distance from your “failure” perhaps you can see what you did that resulted in failure. Perhaps you need a mentor to hold your hand and give you guidance.
(And don’t forget to let go—as Faith ext. 9608 says, “Letting go brings you into balance aligning you with your true self. It is the most natural experience on earth to let go of what is hurting you. Letting go frees your mind of the attachment, thereby filling you with peace.”)
STEP TWO: DON’T BE AFRAID TO FAIL
If you’re unwilling to fail, it means you are unwillling to take chances and move ahead. Edison tried over 1,000 different substances to make a filament for an electric lightbulb before he succeeded. That was 1,000 failures. But he learned from each failure, turning those “failures” into learning experiences that resulted in eventual success. Key three, then, is that repetition of failure only leads to more failure. Learning from each experience leads to success.
STEP THREE: THE SECRET OF PERMANENT SUCCESS
Failures are only failures if you allow them to stop you or if you keep repeating them. The fourth and ultimate key to success is simple: There is no failure, only feedback.
Any time you don’t reach your goals you have not failed unless you stop or repeat what you’re doing. Understand that each time you don’t achieve your goal there is a reason for it. Successful people look for data in what they did that didn’t succeed, process that feedback, and move on toward success.
Your money making scheme didn’t work. Why? What can you learn from it? Do you need more external information? Do you need a mentor? Where will you go from here?
The “love of your life” just broke up with you. Why were you attracted to that type of person? What did you do that made such a person want to break it off? Do you need to change something about yourself to attract and keep the type of person you desire? Do you need to look for a different type of person? Is there someone you can discuss this with?  (“Like with all things, it has to start with us, but a heart is not forever broken, unless we allow it to be.” – Lacy ext. 5494)
If you don’t succeed it’s just a step toward success. Remember, it’s not failure unless you stop or just repeat what resulted in your lack of success. Start thinking along the lines that there is no failure, only feedback. What feedback did you get from the last time you didn’t succeed

Make Progress through your Mistakes!!!

You can only make progress towards attaining the life you desire if you learn from your mistakes.
Don’t try to stop making mistakes, because that’s impossible. The more you try, the more mistakes you’ll make, of that you can be certain.
Be relaxed in your day-to-day life and act without being afraid of failing. Be bold and do things that bring you closer to the life you want. Liberate yourself through action.
When you make a mistake, analyze it immediately and determine what worked and what didn’t. Try to understand where and when you made a bad choice or a wrong decision.
Be humble. Before you blame someone else, admit that you may have made a mistake. Don’t deny you’ve failed and blame exterior circumstances. That’s the worst possible attitude to adopt.
Analyze your behavior objectively. Look at it from all angles, and find the fault or faults that caused you to fail. And don’t worry, it’s not a catastrophe – everyone fails at some time or other.
Don’t judge yourself, or think that by throwing the first stone your ideas or your being have no value, because you’re incapable of succeeding. Above all, don’t give up!
Recognize your errors, understand why you failed, and learn from it! Only then can you make progress.

Saving Money and Finding Wealth

“Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you’ll have good luck.” Also, you will be a penny richer! Before discovering the value of a cent, I used to feel like I could only save money and find wealth if I had a high income and refrained from buying nice clothes and dinners. Now, I enjoy a different lifestyle that allows me to become richer WHILE spending money. Here are some ways that you can spend money in effective and thoughtful ways:
1. BECOME AN EXTREME COUPONER, or at least coupon more often. Though you can hold back on buying clothes and entertainment, buying food is a necessity that can make or break your budget. Avoiding eating at restaurants and fast-food joints by cooking at home. This can save you an ample amount of money each month. Heading to the grocery store with a plan, with knowledge of the weekly sales, and with plenty of coupons will make a drastic difference in your food budget. After watching a few episodes of TLC’s “Extreme Couponing,” I was inspired to give it a chance. Now, I save anywhere from 25%-45% off my bill at each grocery visit. Before going to the supermarket, make sure you…A. Make a list of necessary items;
B. Look through the grocery store’s sale items for that week, and see if you can adjust your list of necessary items to match the sale items;
C. Go through the Sunday paper to clip coupons for any items you currently need or know you will need before the expiration date. Have a folder to store coupons, and have fun watching your bill decrease with each barcode scan!
2. FIND AND WAIT FOR THE BEST DEALS. For big ticket items such as appliances, vehicles, and shoes, wait for big sales. There are lots of sales on holiday weekends and toward the end of the year. This is because businesses want to clear out that year’s stock and close the books for their taxes. Take advantage of holiday weekends and the month of December. Unless it’s a big-ticket item that you need immediately, you will get a real bargain by being patient and waiting for the price to decrease.
3. GET YOUR MONEY TO MAKE MONEY. Always keep an eye out for savings accounts that offer the highest interest rates and for banks that offer money for opening an account. Don’t be afraid to have multiple accounts too. Diversifying your money is always good for security, and it lessens the temptation to spend it if it’s spread around. I highly recommend ING to put the majority of your savings because they offer the highest interest on savings accounts AND they even offer interest on checking accounts too. This way, if you don’t have enough money for a savings account, at least you can start accruing interest on your checking account.
4. INVEST IN THE RIGHT PLACES AND IN SEVERAL PLACES. It’s never too early to have a retirement fund, especially if your company has a program that will match your contribution. You should also consider some mutual funds, stocks, or coins. Savings accounts will help inch your way toward wealth, but mutual funds and stocks will help you leap there if you choose wisely and have a good financial planner. Ask your friends and family to recommend a trustworthy financial planner that will help you decide the best places to invest your money.
5. STAY ORGANIZED TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR EXPENSES EACH MONTH. Keep a list of your monthly bills and due dates so you can avoid any late charges. If you enroll in “Auto-Pay,” you still need to check your accounts because companies will increase fees without warning, and it is up to you to ask them to refund the new charges. About once a month, I call my Cable Company or Phone Company to refute a charge or argue a price increase. When you call, they usually offer new deals that you may be interested in as well. You should also call your credit card companies regularly about lowering your interest rates.
As I have shown you, to save money and find wealth, you do not have to get a better job or win the lottery; all you have to do is be more wise about where your money goes. In sum, use coupons on small items, look for sales on big items, put your extra money in a high-interest savings account, start a retirement account as soon as possible, choose a few stocks or coins to invest in, and keep track of your spending so you can avoid losing money unnecessarily. Celebrate your increasing wealth in some way too! I like to keep all my receipts with big savings in a folder to keep me inspired. My aunt keeps a jar where she puts all the money she saved so she can add it up at the end of the year. Be proud of whatever you do and always look for new ways to save a dime!
“The economy has affected everyone.” – Lucy ext. 5353
“Know that within your spiritual core you deserve abundance. Stay away from people who say otherwise. Take real action to make your goals happen. If you’re thinking about, but not taking steps in the direction of abundance, you’ll usually end up disappointed.”

If the Universe Threw a Rock at You, You Probably Started It!

Karma is one of those strange things that no one believes in until the universe corrects whatever you are doing—and believe me, after all fifteen years in this business of watching otherwise good people do stupid and bad things, when the universe decides it’s time to get even, it comes with a vengeance.
Most of the time, the biggest part of being a counselor is to help people clean up messes that are usually self-induced. These stories always start with the same line from the person who needs help. Man, it just came out of nowhere… and I never saw it coming!
Out of nowhere started somewhere. If the universe threw a rock at your head, it wasn’t out of nowhere, and you, not the universe, were the one that started the fight in the first place.
Karma, in that sense, is just another way of saying cosmic retaliation. Start a fight with a higher power by doing something stupid, and out of nowhere comes your new reality until the score is settled and the universe is once again at peace. This might be a minor adjustment, such as getting your car hit at the mall, or this could be in the form of a major adjustment where you lose everything you have and will never have anything again. Here are a few rules of karma (gleaned from so many years of cleaning up clients’ litter boxes):
Rule #1: Give more than you take. We want and we want, but we give nothing back. You have to give more than you take. Do something besides going through life as a taker instead of a giver.
Rule #2: Anger backspills. Two important words to learn if you want to live at peace and be successful over time are “forgive and forget.” Anger is perhaps the most destructive of all emotions in that it spills back on you so often. Forgive, forget and move on, people!
“The most important thing is to learn from past relationships. You know that you can recover from a broken heart, you can depend on the strength that you demonstrated to get you through the process again.” –
Rule #3: Rotten members and bad so-called friends are black holes. Negative people create black holes around themselves that constantly suck the life and energy out of their surroundings. Don’t go through life constantly washed over by negativity by someone who doesn’t enjoy his or her own life and who’s mad because you enjoy yours.
“Life is full of changes, and a broken heart is an opportunity to grow.”
Rule #4: Arrogance is Rewarded! The state of mind you should be seeking that’s the functional equivalent of arrogance is confidence. Be confident in what you do, but be humble enough to realize that there is still more to learn.
Rule #6: You Are a Role Model. Do something nice for someone who needs it. The table might turn one day! (You get the point!) Dedicate the rest of the year to building up some good karma, because it might be a matter of time before you accidentally throw that first rock!

The Power of Laughter to Cure Mind and Body

Late in his life, Norman Cousins, world famous author, professor, and journalist, developed a painful disease his doctors told him he had little hope of surviving. As part of his self-prescribed treatment, Cousins, the Adjunct Professor of Medical Humanities for the School of Medicine at UCLA, locked himself in a room and watched Marx Brothers comedy movies. As he revealed in his book, Anatomy of an Illness, he discovered that ten minutes of “genuine belly laughter” would result in hours of pain-free sleep. He ended up living for many productive years, eventually succumbing to another ailment.
Is laughter really the best medicine? Clearly, by itself, laughing won’t cure what ails you. But, in conjunction with other forms of medicine, laughter and having a good sense of humor is invaluable. Here are just a few things that laughter does that are beneficial for improving your health and keeping you healthy:1. Exercise. When you have a big belly laugh you exercise the diaphragm (the biggest muscle in the body), as well as your abdominal muscles and even your shoulder muscles. The movement of the diaphragm helps your breathing and increases air flow. A good laugh is actually good exercise for your heart and lungs.
2. Stress, Hormones and More. The body produces lots of hormones. Some hormones, such as cortisol, epinephrine, dopamines and others increase stress levels. Laughter has been shown to reduce the formation of these hormones, thus preventing the increase of your stress levels and the negative effects of stress. At the same time, laughter increases hormones such as endorphins which increase feeling of well being and lower stress levels. Since increased stress levels are associated with stomach problems, insomnia, asthma, fatigue, high blood pressure, psoriasis, and even some types of heart disease and alcoholism, it is clear that laughter can help you in conjunction with your regular medical therapy.
(“Whatever it is that is causing you stress, most likely it is there to teach you a lesson. If you are feeling continued stress then you aren’t paying attention. Sometimes the truth stings a bit.” – William ext. 5131)
Laughter also increases the quantity of disease fighting antibodies and enhances the ability of your T Cells to fight disease. It makes your immune system stronger and more effective.
3. Mental Clearing. After a good laugh you have a physical and emotional release, making you better able to deal with illness, stress, and just daily life. Laughing lets you look at the stressful events in your life differently, so you are less likely to face the negative impact of anger, disappointment, stress, guilt, and other negative emotions. And when you’re laughing and feeling good about yourself other people will be attracted to you and you’ll increase your circle of friends.
There’s no doubt about it, laughter is fantastic for your mental and physical well being. But is there a right way to laugh for health?
How to Laugh
Just little giggles or snorts for a second or two don’t seem to have the health effects that can be brought on by deep laughter. Instead, you need a good, long, drawn-out belly laugh, the type where your sides hurt (from exercising the muscles) or your eyes tear. Laughing like this for just ten minutes a day can literally change your life.
But what if you don’t feel like laughing? Studies show that if you fake your laughter it can be just as good as a real laugh. So go ahead and fake laugh. Do it enough and you’ll probably start laughing for real, anyway.
A recent study at UC Berkeley and the University of Zurich showed that people who can laugh at themselves are more cheerful, less serious, and had better moods throughout the day. So learn to laugh at yourself and not take yourself so seriously. You’ll be happier and healthier.
Finally, here is my 100% non-medical, unofficial prescription for improved health, better healing, more friends, and a happier life: Take time out to be silly every day. If you haven’t been silly, take a silly break. Learn to laugh at yourself and the world around you. Laugh by yourself and with your friends and family. Make them big, joyous, belly laughs.
And best of all, you don’t need insurance and you won’t be charged a co-pay. Laughter is free. So for the price, laughter is the best medicine.
“Be kind and forgiving of yourself. We are all human and we all make mistakes.” –

Experience the Spiritual Power of Gratitude and Thankfulness

1. Gratitude: We know it’s one of the most important keys to life and personal growth. But it can be hard to stay grateful when life throws so many challenges at us. “Gratitude. You can experience it a hundred times a day if you want to, but it has to become a conscious choice. It’s easy to experience the feeling of gratitude when someone does something kind for you. Thankfulness for small kindnesses can be automatic and expected—but when was the last time you looked down at the shoes on your feet and thought ‘Wow… how blessed I am to have shoes on my feet when millions of people don’t?’ We all have difficult days, we all are handed many challenges to get through and overcome. But the power of gratitude can lift you from the depths of darkness right back into the brightest light there is. The trick is to wake up. Look around and see the world with new eyes. You will be amazed at how much lighter your heart and spirit will feel when you make a conscious choice to use the power of gratitude on a daily basis.”
2. “The more you give, the more you receive! There is no end to the amount of gratitude one can give or receive.”
3. “When you find yourself in a difficult situation where you have a choice to make, challenge yourself to take a deep breath and choose gratitude. Through the act of forgiveness, divine intelligence will help you to let go and transcend the situation that you are finding painful. In time, you will once again move forward, having transcended the pain or upset you once experienced. Observe how much lighter you feel after having made your choice for gratitude. The path of grace is accessed through gratitude. Be grateful for the challenges that bring detours on your path. For as hard as that is to do, the challenges in your life take you to your most cherished sacred desires.”
4. Underlines the importance of being grateful to yourself, also:“Take time to be grateful for choices in your life. Expressing gratitude for the ability to make a choice at any given time allows you to better understand the choice at hand, as well as empowering you by helping you take control of the choices you make. Do this as often as you can think about it—make it a living expression of gratitude.”
5. Watch the flow of the divine:“Know that God is everywhere, including inside of you. Where you are today is exactly where you need to be.”
6. “Free will empowers each of us to choose our attitudes in each moment. Each morning, the first thing you choose is your attitude for the day. Did you wake up feeling grateful? If not, you have the choice in that aware moment to empower yourself with gratitude.
7. “Each morning I wake up and say, ‘I know nothing of today. Show me the truth, and I will be grateful for all opportunities, the good and the not so good.’
8. “We live in a time of great transformation, where we can assist the whole by choosing to be in gratitude for all things. Being in a state of gratitude, there are no judgments on what we are grateful for. We can help the world in letting go of guilt by choosing to be grateful for all things. A wise teacher once told me, ‘When you choose to see life with eyes of gratitude, you will not worry about tomorrow.’
9. “As we celebrate this season, may we all choose to be grateful for just being alive in this time of great change and not worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will become a reflection of our gratitude.”
10. “What is the best way to experience the power of gratitude in your life?“By giving it.”

Success May Not Depend on a College Degree

When it comes to making money, choosing a career, or planning your education, it’s a given that we’re in challenging times. But there are thriving businesses and industries that will continue in good health. Surprise, a college degree may not be the best choice, and you may find new choices to satisfy your career desires.
Open your mind. Tech gurus say that while most jobs requiring repetitive performances or mechanical processes will be robotized, all jobs that need creative thinking, problem solving, and right-brain creativity will be crying for people to fill them. A recent list of today’s best-paying college degrees says engineering and science jobs pay around $90,000 right out of the box, but film making is still in the top fifty brightest futures, too.Here, then, is a list to ponder as you plan the next five years or so. It doesn’t matter if you’re 20 or 50, there’s time to focus your dreams, set your goals, and succeed. The fields in our list are wide open, actively seeking workers for now and the future.
“Change is always to be welcomed rather than feared because it leads to the greatest freedom.” – Faith ext. 9608
1. Engineering — Petroleum, chemical, aerospace, biomedical, you name it. If this kind of thinking appeals to you, your future is golden.
2. Computer Science — There are specialized degrees now that lean on specific microcosms of computer science. The field is vast and active. Consider software development, information systems management, systems design, or app development.
3. Service Jobs — Good with people? These jobs will become specialized and sophisticated. No more offshore boiler rooms full of untrained customer service reps — skills will be fine tuned. Hair stylists, fashion consultants, financial planners and advisers, concierges, or people who repair and troubleshoot technology will also be in high demand.
4. Artists and Designers With or Without Degrees — If you have creative talent and the discipline to put it to work, you’re in. An arts degree will enhance your chances of success in corporate creative fields like advertising, but there will even be a strong demand for self-taught artists and those with art school background.
5. Teaching — The field is somewhat bloated now, but as technology becomes more complicated, education will be a stronger focus in every nation. Talented, insightful teachers will find a bright future.
6. Medicine, Especially for Workers With a Technological Bent — Diagnostics will be more and more computerized, but the human element in the healthcare field cannot be replaced by a robot.
7. Writers — Naysayers are hanging crepe all over the writing and publishing fields. But fear not, the industry is in transition and will stabilize soon. Writers, good writers, will be in high demand and will be compensated fairly. Ghostwriting is a strong trend. Publishing is accessible to anyone with a computer, but the reading public still demands quality, so authors are seeking skilled collaborators. If writing is your passion, build a strong portfolio and be poised for golden opportunities in the next year or two and beyond.
8. Entertainers — The more somber the world feels, the more inclined people are to spend discretionary income on entertainment. The Great Depression of the 1930s saw a surge in popularity of movies, music, and other entertainments.
9. Child care and early childhood education will become critical and good providers more in demand as people find their ways back to work.
10. Entrepreneurial Endeavors — Industries change and workers are finding themselves unemployed in traditional jobs, so many seek ways to open their own businesses. They’re succeeding in droves. Got a skill you’re passionate about? Study the smartest ways to succeed in business and plan your own small company.
Some experts say the Mayan calender predicts the beginning of a new golden age of enlightenment in 2012. It could be a time of prosperity and personal growth that rivals the stellar age of ancient Egypt where spiritual growth and personal satisfaction were at a peak. Be ready — consider, plan, and make your future everything you want it to be.
“Take the time for an honest life review as the most significant modifications are made from the inside out.”

How to Cope with a Change of Career

Who are wondering what would they do if they ever faced a situation where there simply seemed to be no opportunities and very little money coming in, after months of effort , I am receiving that that is the time when you will want to dig deeper into that treasure chest in the following ways:
1. Money is Running Out: check every charitable organization locally and statewide or in your country for short-term help with housing payments and food. Check with your country, state and county assistance bureaus and apply for assistance, if you absolutely have no money. Check in with free credit assitance bureaus for help with creditors.
2. Jobless After Months of Looking: increase not decrease your efforts to include MORE job support groups, including job support and career assistance through your state and government bodies.
3. Networking, Not Working: Almost 80 percent of jobs are filled through networking: if networking is difficult or not working for you, most likely you need to up your skills set on networking. The Internet is filled with free guidance on successful networking and job targeting. Job support networks will absolutely increase your skill set. Ask a successful friend or relative to help you with reviewing how you are networking.
4. Difficult to Find Jobs in Your Job Area: Check out no-cost programs to retrain for a new career. Most states or countries have retraining centers, or educational institutions where you can be retrained and locate a job within a short period of time, at little or no cost to you!
5. Your Resume is Blank After Months of No Work: Volunteer! Not only will future employers applaud you for doing this, you will have even better opportunities to network! Remember that those who work in volunteer organizations want to help others! Don’t know where to begin to volunteer? Go to your free public library and ask the staff where to look! No money even to get to volunteer jobs? Chances are you can be teamed up with someone who can pick you up, or be given public transportation vouchers

Stop running to the fastest answer. Allow the Truth to unfold naturally.

And that's difficult for most of us. It requires that we're okay being alone with ourselves. Otherwise, our "pause" just becomes confused and conflicted with outside forces pressuring our decision.
Sure a friend can give you insight. 10 friends can give you perspective. But you -- and you alone -- are the one who must make those "rock and a hard place" decisions in your life.
Too many of us walk through the world unaware of how dependent we are on others.
We look to employers (or customers) for our income...
We look to family for support...
Partners for intimacy...
Children for grounding and connection with joy...
Games TV and movies for entertainment or distraction...
   
And the list goes on... and on... and on...
Now to be clear: I'm not suggesting there's anything wrong or bad with any of those things. What seems to be rare though, is genuinely taking enough time to look inwards towards ourselves. Sure, many people on the spiritual path meditate and pray.
But do we really know what it means to be alone? More specifically, do we know how to be alone yet full with aliveness?
Few of us do. It's a lesson I'm still learning more with each passing day.

Stand Your Inner Ground

 

Fear is really nothing other than a self-limiting reaction that we've always mistaken for a shield of self-protection. It's time to let it go, which you can do anytime you want. Here's how: Dare to proceed, even while being afraid.
Employing this simple but higher instruction to proceed even while being afraid will not only show you the strange faces of all those habitual reactions that have had you on the run, but it will also empower you to start seeing through them. And, as you'll gratefully discover, each of your new insights into their actual nature removes some of their power over you. Better yet, their loss is your gain! The following step will help you face those fearful feelings and erase them from your life once and for all.
Do you know someone whom you would rather run from than run into? Most of us do! Nevertheless, starting right now, resolve never again to avoid any person who scares you. In fact, whether at home or work, go ahead and walk right up to that critical or aggressive person and say exactly what you want, instead of letting the fear tell you to do what it wants. Have no ideas at all about the way things should or shouldn't go. Of course, this exercise is not an excuse to be cruel or rude.
Remember, your aim in working with this step in self-liberation is not to win an ego victory, but rather to watch and learn something new about yourself. Drop any other misplaced self-conscious concerns. Let that person see you shake, if that's what starts to happen. What do you care? It's only temporary. Besides, that unpleasant person before you can't know it, but you're shaking yourself awake!
Stand your inner ground even if it feels as though you might fall through the floor. Allow your reactions to roll by you -- instead of letting them carry you away as they've always done in the past.
If you'll fight for yourself in this new way, it won't be the floor beneath you that you feel open. It will be your inner eyes! And what they see is that this flood -- of what were once unconscious reactions -- has its own life story; a shaky story that up until now you'd taken as your own. But it's not. You see these fears do not belong to you, and that they never have. Everything about your life changes in this one moment. Here's what has been revealed to you:
You have never been afraid of another person. The only thing you've ever been frightened by is your own thoughts about that person. Yes, you did feel fear, but it wasn't yours. And it wasn't towards someone stronger than you. The fear you always felt was in what you thought he or she was thinking about you. Amazing isn't it? You have been afraid of your own thoughts.
Facing your fearful feelings brings them to an end because if you'll proceed while being afraid, you'll see all that's been scaring you... is you.

Change Your Career to Finally Get Your Dream Job

Taking bold steps requires confidence. And confidence attracts employers! In order to have “career confidence,” you need to know exactly what career you desire, have innovative ideas that would make you valuable to that profession, and don’t be afraid to speak up about your dream job. Perfect jobs don’t just appear; you have to go after them with gusto!

Going after what you desire isn’t as easy as it seems, but the following 6 steps can head you in the right direction. Choose the strategies you wish, and good luck!

Bold Step #1 – Tell your current employer that you seek a change, more responsibility, different scenery, or some other game-changer! This gives your current employer a chance to step up and make you an offer you can’t refuse. But, only take this step if you are in excellent standing at your company and are on good terms with your boss. If you know you have earned a promotion and you are ready for another (higher up) position, voice it. Otherwise, don’t be disappointed when someone else gets that promotion you wanted.

Bold Step #2 – If you don’t want to stay at your current company, ask for a letter of recommendation so you can move on. With that said, only ask if you are completely ready to let others know you are seeking employment elsewhere. Plus, only ask someone who knows your work well and will write an effective, positive letter on your behalf. I even recommend providing them with a list of items it would be helpful for them to include in the letter IF they need ideas or mention they are short on time to do this favor for you.

Bold Step #3 – Post on Facebook! Yes, let your friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances all know you are looking for a new career or new company. Think about it, on Facebook, you’ve got 50-500 friends that all work in different fields and hear about job openings… You could make great connections this way! Of course, you can post on Craigslist and Monster.com, etc. But it’s better to connect with people you know. In this economy, it’s often about who you know to get a job because employers do not want to risk hiring an unknown.

“It is so much easier to navigate the energies at work when you KNOW what is going on in a coworker’s head! We can not only focus on who is the troublemaker, we can tell you if you have a future there or not!” 

Bold Step #4 – Look the part! Buy a new wardrobe so you can dress for the position you want, not the one you have. Then, go buy nice paper for your resume and cover letter portfolio. Make sure to do your research on the companies that you will be interviewing for so that you can tailor your clothes and documents to align with their interests and needs.

Bold Step #5 – Make sure you have the proper education, credentials, and training. If you don’t, enroll immediately. I got a job as a librarian even though I had just (that week) enrolled in an MLIS program and only had an emergency credential. Sometimes, a company will want you so much that they will overlook the

fact that you haven’t completed certain requirements (if you have stellar recommendations).

Bold Step #6 – Go for it! Do everything in your power to get the job you want. The alternative is to be stuck in a job you are dissatisfied with. We spend the majority of our waking lives at work, so make sure you are doing something you love. Meaningful work is the best gift you can give yourself!

Martin Luther King, Jr. stated, “Whatever your life’s work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.” You can easily “do it well” if you believe in the value of your occupation and seek to do work that you find meaningful. Do not settle into a job unless it fulfills you and you are happy to go to work each day; otherwise, keep looking and striving for that perfect position!

Every time you say words of hate, it’s like driving a nail into your bond with that person

The farmer’s son told his sister that she was dumb for not understanding arithmetic, and walked away without answering her question. The farmer who’d overheard the conversation, comforted his daughter, instructing his son to write an apology, and nail it to the mahogany fence outside. The words did not come easy, and the wood was difficult to penetrate, but the son did what his father asked.

Over the next couple years, the farmer continued this tradition, instructing his son to nail an apology to the fence each time he said something hurtful. As the years past, the son found himself adding fewer apologies. On the day of the son’s thirteenth birthday, the farmer caught him yelling at his sister, and asked him to meet him by the fence. The son wrote an apology, and waited as he was instructed.The farmer approached his son, telling him he had become a man, and that he could now remove the previous notes and start anew. The farmer sat down on an old log, as the son went to work. When he finished, the father walked along the fence, which now had many scars. He put his hand on his son’s shoulder, and spoke gently.

“Every time you say words of hate, it’s like driving a nail into your bond with that person,” explained the farmer. “The nails may rust and fall out. Your actions may wither and be forgotten. However, the scars will always remain.”

The easiest way to avoid hurting those you love, is to avoid saying unkind words. There are several common phrases used in heated arguments that do more harm than you could possibly imagine. This is what I call the

Argument Blacklist:

1. “Everybody cheats. So, get over it!” When we’re caught doing wrong, particularly men, one of our first responses is denial. When his actions are proven without a doubt, his next defense is to pass it off as not being a big deal. If it is important enough to your partner, it should also be important to you.

2. “Blah blah… Relax.” When we belittle somebody’s feelings, by telling them that they have no right to be upset, we are telling them they are not important. We are saying that what matters to them, does not necessarily matter to us. It is easier to tell someone that they are being unreasonable, then to face their accusation. Listen, understand, and have empathy. There is no such thing as a problem that is too small, if it’s important to your partner.

3. “I’m walking out this door, and you’re never going to see me again. Well, are you going to stop me?” When we test our partner’s love by threatening to leave, several things are going on behind the scenes. One, we are seeing how easy it would be for them to let us go. This shows a lack of confidence. Two, we are positioning ourselves in a place of power, by holding something over the relationship, we assume our partner does not want to give up. Save the breakup card until you’re ready to use it. Otherwise, your lover might (rightfully) call you on your threat, and watch you walk away.

“People we attract into our life are reflections of who we are, therefore become first what it is you want to attract.”

4. “So, I had sex with your best friend? You cheated on your math test in third grade.” The idea of this argument strategy is to bring up a past indiscretion of your partner, to take the heat off the misconduct you’ve been accused of. The problem is, we shouldn’t keep score in relationships. What has happened in the past is done, and should not be brought up again. If you have done your partner wrong. Don’t make excuses. Admit what you’ve done, tell them how you plan to making things right, and promise you’ll never hurt them the same way again.

5. “You knew I was a jerk when you met me!” Part of being in a relationship, is trusting our partner will work to improve themselves along with the relationship. We should never feel like we have to change to meet someone’s expectations. However, we should be willing to compromise to meet our partners needs when the situation calls for it. By saying that you’ve been immature in the past, does not give you an excuse to continue the same actions. Good relationships are expected to grow, and our ability to mature along with them is imperative.

6. “That’s it, I’m done.” It’s easy to get frustrated in a heated debate. However, if you dismiss a problem, refusing to talk about it, it will remain a weak spot in the relationship. If you absolutely need time out from the discussion, tell your partner you can’t talk anymore, but that you will rejoin the conversation later. Give them a rain check for a specific time and day, so they know you are not just dismissing their feelings.

7. “You’re a (fill in the blank).” Name calling made us feel better as a kid, and some adults never grow out of it. Instead of feeling like you have to defend yourself when your partner calls you out on a weakness, listen to what they have to say. They just may have some advice to make both your lives easier.

“When you look in the mirror and you see what you see…if you were to be looking at what you see in the mirror, would YOU want you?”

Our Conflicting Values!!!

"I understand sometimes situations require a fast response and a decision. If you practice the  on a regular basis, what you'll notice is that the time you need to 'be in the unknown' and arive at a solution will become less and less.

You'll also be able to more quickly recognize when you're making sub-optimal decisions, and therefore, correct course more effectively before it's too late."

Many times when we are experiencing conflict, our values and integrity are also being challenged. What makes it "a rock and a hard place" is often that two or more things of importance to us are not playing nicely together.

Maybe our parents want one thing, and our spouse wants another.

Or perhaps we are sick and feel torn between conventional medicine and natural medicine.

Even more compounded could be that while you personally are fine without pain-killers because you don't want to use drugs, but your child is in excrutiating pain. What's more important to you? Relieving your child of pain or not using unnatural pain-killing drugs?

Sometimes it could be wanting to purchase two things we really really really want, and only having enough money for one of them.

We could be torn between trying to maintain a peaceful relationship with an ex-spouse while wondering if that is really what's best for your child.

It can even be that we're torn between what we want for somebody else and what we wants for ourselves.

And in one of my favorite plays, Les Miserables, Jean Valjean who steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving family.

Whatever the conflict is, when we get to the heart of "rock and a hard place" we realize that our values and integrity are being challenged.

What's more important: Letting your family starve or breaking the law and violating somebody elses' boundaries?

Jean Valjean chose the latter. Hopefully, your "rock and a hard place" decisions aren't as dire as Jean Valjean's were.

Each difficult situation challenges us to make a choice: Will we live in alignment with what is most important to us, or will we sell ourselves short?

(even if it's just a tiny little bit)

One of the gifts of allowing yourself to remain in uncertainty, in the unknown, is that your values will naturally become clearer. As you explore different options, you can feel within which of those options feels better or worse.

Sure stealing the loaf of bread may resolve the conflict quickly. But what if there's another solution... that you'd discover if only you allowed your discomfort to reveal more information to you?

Les Miserables is a play, so we can't really suggest what possibilities Jean Valjean could have chosen instead. However, we can acknowledge that if he had the presence of mind to pause before stealing, he might have found a new possibility that both fed his family and didn't break the law.

We can't know for certain. But we can see that the choice he made landed him in prison, made him an outlaw, and burdened his soul for a lifetime.

And a lifetime is a long time to live with the inner conflict that comes from making hasty decisions that comprlmise your values.

Circling back: Many of our deepest wishes remain unconscious. We may not always know exactly what we want or need most in a given moment.

That's one reason why conflict challenges us so much: because it is a pull between what we subconsciously don't know we want and what we consciously think we want.

Being present and pausing allows us some space so that our subconscious wants can come to the surface. Then we can look at them and consciously choose a path that is more congruent with our values.

Over time, as your priorities and values become clearer, you gain the ability to prioritize more effectively. You become enabled to act in alignment with what you truly want. And you can do it much faster than ever before.

Next time you are facing a real conflict, one question you can ask yourself is simply this:

"What's more important to me?"

An extreme example of this is a hypothetical situation.

Terrorists have kidnapped you and your family. They tell you: "Either kill one of your family members, or we'll kill two of them."

Talk about a rock and a hard place! How do you decide what to do or not to?

This is where your integrity and values come into question. You might start asking things like:

"Who is likely to do the most / least good in the world?"

"Are two peoples' lives more important than one?"

"Will I be able to live with myself by not choosing, knowing that my lack of choice killed somebody who I could have saved?"

"Will I live with the guilt of knowing I personally murdered one of the people closest to me in this world?"

Underneath that are your values. Maybe you refuse to harm another being, and you choosing to "not kill" is more important than saving an extra life.

Or maybe you close your eyes, randomly choose a family member, pull the trigger... knowing that the rest of them will be saved.

Or perhaps you decide who is likely to have the least positive impact in the world and shoot that person.

I don't have an answer to that question. I hope nobody ever has to be in that extreme situation. Still, that example shows very clearly how when we're between a rock and a hard place, what's really happening is our values are being challenged.

And when you get clear on your values over time, those difficult situations are resolved with increasing ease and speed. The only way to get clear is this:

Pause and be present

Resist the temptation to rush to the quickest possible solution.

Ask difficult questions that clarify your values

If you give your inner world enough space, the right answer will always come to you. Maybe not as quickly as you'd like, but it's there waiting to be discovered.

Act As if It is impossible to lose....

Victor Frankl once wrote, "Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitudes in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." Frankl was right. Attitude is a choice. You could be faced with a thousand problems, many or most over which you have absolutely no control. However, there is always one thing you are in complete and absolute control of and that is your own attitude.

When you surrender control of your attitude to what appears to be a negative situation, you will react to that situation. More often than not, reacting is inappropriate. On the other hand, if you were to remain objective, you would respond to the situation appropriately, thereby creating a winning situation.

If attitude is such an important word, why do so few people understand it? To be honest, it wasn't until I was in my late 20s when I finally understood its full impact. All through my teens and into my early adult life, I can't tell you the number of times that I heard, "Bob, if you'd just change your attitude, you would do a lot better." In retrospect I can easily see the cause of my problem. I didn't know what attitude was, let alone know how to change it!

Attitude is the composite of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Your conscious mind controls feeling and ultimately dictates whether your feelings will be positive or negative by your choice of thoughts, then your body displays those choices through action and behavior.

Attitude is actually a creative cycle that begins with your choice of thoughts. You do choose your thoughts and that choice is where your attitude originates. As you internalize ideas or become emotionally involved with your thoughts, you create the second stage in forming an attitude; you move your entire being - mind and body - into a new "vibration." Your conscious awareness of this vibration is referred to as "feeling".Your feelings are then expressed in actions or behaviors that produce the various results in your life.

Positive results are always the effect of a positive attitude. Attitude and results are inseparable. They follow one another like night follows day. What I mean by that is: one is the cause, the other, the result. There is a term we use to distinguish this "cause and effect" relationship, it is called The Law of Cause and Effect. Simply stated, if you think in negative terms, you will get negative results; if you think in positive terms you will achieve positive results. Ralph Waldo Emerson reiterated that same point when he said, "A person is what they think about all day long." The results you achieve in life are nothing more than an expression of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Take a close look at your life and evaluate the results you are achieving in various areas. See if you are able to relate your attitude to your results.

Winning and losing are opposite sides of the same coin - and that coin is attitude. There are many things wrong in this world; unfortunately that is all some people are able to see. Those who view the world in this light are often unhappy and somewhat cynical. Usually, their life is one of lack and limitation and it almost appears as if they move from one bad experience to another. I know people who are like this and I'm certain you do as well. It would appear as if they were born with a streak of bad luck and it has followed them around their whole life. These individuals are quick to blame circumstances or other people for their problems, rather than accepting responsibility for their life and their attitude.

Conversely, there are others who are forever winning and living the good life. They are the real movers and shakers who make things happen. They seem to go from one major accomplishment to another. They're in control of their life; they know where they are going and know they will get there. They are the real winners in life and their wins are a matter of choice.

You can experience that kind of life as well, you only need to decide. Making that simple decision is the first step to a new life. Dorothea Brand once said, "Act as if it were impossible to fail," and I challenge you to do so. By simply becoming aware that you can choose your thoughts each and every day, you will change your entire outlook. You have the power to choose an abundant life no matter your circumstances. That active choice will allow other positive people and opportunities to be attracted into your life. Don't wait to experience all the wonderful things the universe has in store for you. Start today by working on your attitude and welcome the abundant life that you were meant to lead.

Success - everybody wants it. Right?

Most people have defined success as 'this achievement' or 'that thing' - many have actual checklists to determine that they are successful. And I want to be clear - I am all for success. I am all for achieving amazing things and having abundance and cool cars and homes and stuff...

But, I am here to protect you, and help you, and that is what I want to do today in this issue...

Too many people check the items off their success lists only to find that they still feel exactly how they felt before. It isn't enough to achieve, you must feel or else you wind up with empty successes.

So, that is what we are here to do today - we are here to help you make sure your successes are full of joy and happiness and fulfillment. And I have a very special article for you to help you do exactly that! Everything you desire is here for you and when you discover what you really mean when you say 'success' you open up the infinite possibilities of the Universe!

To make sure this newsletter serves YOU; your comments and feedback are critical, so let me know what you think! You'll find a link at the bottom of each issue that leads you to our site to leave your feedback.

There is only one success - to spend your life in your own way."

-- Christopher Morley

The 'Law of Attraction' and 'Success' -

What Is 'Success' Anyway?

by Henk J.M. Schram

Everyone seems to strive to be 'successful' in life. We all look to apply the 'Law of Attraction' to gain 'success'.

But what is 'success'? What makes you successful, and what makes you a 'failure'?

To answer this question, let's first take a look at our world. Our societies are completely focused on our five senses of seeing, hearing, tasting, touching and smelling. Our five senses are constantly stimulated. They are enticed and exploited all the time.

It is therefore no surprise that we tend to focus our minds on materialism 24 hours per day. We tend to focus all the time on big cars, big houses, lots of money in the bank, and so on.

There is nothing wrong with that in itself, and this does not mean that being 'spiritual' equals being poor and living in a dump. That doesn't make sense either. The problem is not with the 'material' objects themselves. I'll get back to this later.

First, I'd like to know this... So many people want to 'attract a new car'. But what is it with cars anyway? Somehow the car has become a symbol of status, of 'success'. I know a number of people (even some well-known ones) who are so obsessed with their cars, they even give names to their car.

A friend of mine had a car and was really proud of it. He called this car 'Infinity'. Another friend of mine doesn't care the least bit about what kind of car he drives.

Still, he needed to buy a car the other day to be able drive to work. But because he didn't really care about it, he simply bought the first set of wheels that he liked even just a bit and of which he thought the price was right for him. "If I can drive to work and back with it, then that's a great car for me", he thought.

He bought himself a pretty old car to be honest. It certainly didn't look that fancy. The other friend would have dubbed it a piece of junk. But this guy couldn't care less. In fact, he could see the fun of it. In response to my other friend who called his car 'Infinity', this guy decided to give his car a name too. He called it 'Finity'.

I kid you not, this is a true story. What it illustrates is the relativity of 'status' and 'success'. What one person would consider being dignified could be considered by the next person as pathetic.

Like I said, the trap is not with material objects themselves. These are just frequency patterns anyway. The problem comes when we see those objects as the ultimate goals and the very symbols of success that confirm whether we 'made it' in life or not.

It is for this reason that many people look to others to confirm to themselves if they are 'doing well' or if they are 'successful'. When you don't succeed in terms of big houses, big cars, big money, you are often considered as a 'failure', and often consider yourself as such.

Keep Your Chin Up

by Jan Graham

About six months ago, I joined a gym. Every morning, there is one personal trainer there who works out at the same time that my little group does our workout. He does his routine with such a quiet determination that he makes it all look very easy, although I know all too well how hard he is working. When I am tempted to whine and quit, I watch him push himself to his own limits, and I find myself motivated to work as hard and without complaint.

One day, I was watching him do chin-ups. He made them look effortless. I broke away from my group and asked him if I could try a chin-up. I had never tried before, but he just made it look so easy. He eagerly stepped aside and encouraged me to step up to the bar. I pulled myself up without thinking … once … then twice. That was all I had in me; I had no s trength left. I told him that was all I had, so he stepped up behind me and pushed me up for a third and fourth “pull.” It felt so good. I felt strong, and I smiled from ear to ear.

The next day, when I was done with my workout, I asked him to spot me again. Again, I did two. I did the same on day three and so on. I thought it was pathetic that I could only do two, but when I came to the gym at the end of the week, he was standing there just shaking his head. When I asked him what was up, he said he was impressed with my chin-ups. He told me that when they are training firefighters, the men are required to do five chin-ups, and women are required to do one or two. He explained that most people can’t do them at all and that he was impressed that I could. He further told me that if I practiced every day, I would be doing five or six in no time. At this point, I should probably add that I am fifty years old … and female.

The mor al of this story … because I didn’t know any better, because he told me I could, I saw no reason to doubt. I just jumped in and gave it a try—and I did it! I didn’t see it as a great accomplishment because I didn’t realize that it was difficult, and it became my goal to get stronger. No one told me I couldn’t do it. In fact, I was encouraged to try. Had he told me initially how difficult it was, I more than likely would not have tried at all. Or, I might have tried but given it only half an effort, because failure would have been the expectation. I applaud him for letting me believe that for me, it was not only a possibility, but that success was a realistic expectation.

How many times have we decided not to try at all because we were told that we couldn’t, that we shouldn’t, that we had expectations that were too ambitious? How many times have we told our children, our friends, and our co-workers that they couldn& rsquo;t do something, that their ideas were impossible or beyond reach? How many times have we told ourselves that we would fail before we even started?

I started to ponder examples that I had witnessed and this came to mind: I recalled a conversation a friend of mine had with his daughter just prior to her heading off to university. He spoke to her (with good intentions) of how hard she would have to work in order to succeed. University wasn’t like high school—this was the real world, and now she would have to grow up. This child quit after two years. Another friend spoke to her daughter of the adventure she was embarking on and how proud she was. I remember how we laughed because the mother already had her outfit picked out for convocation day! This child just graduated with her degree in physiology. Looking back, neither daughter was more intelligent than the other. Was it the silent expectations (or lack thereof) that predicted the outcome?

I have a new approach now. I have experienced first hand how good it feels to rush in so innocently, to believe that we can do it, and go on to accomplish exactly what we set out to do, because no one told us we couldn’t. I’ve learned how important it is to support others (and ourselves) in their endeavors and to let them know that we believe they can do it rather than telling them we think they can’t.

I personally want to be like my trainer, standing there behind the people I love, encouraging them, believing in them, and being ready to catch them when they get tired. I will be the one who is there on the second and third day making sure they try again, because I know they can.

What a powerful lesson this has been for me. I’ll be doing five in no time at all. Because I was told I can.

Message: Believe you can and you will.